Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
