Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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