i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
even my farts smell like vagina
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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