I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
