sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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