ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
