I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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