Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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