Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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