she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
