Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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