But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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