grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
