Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
