so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
