how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
