dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
