I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
