I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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