Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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