I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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