Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize