Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
