I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
