I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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