i think my tv is drunk
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
