It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
