Quick, to the slutcave!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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