I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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