Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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