I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
