Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
