That's intense
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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