No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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