After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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