Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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