i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
