you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize