it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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