O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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