I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just gift wrapped bread.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
