just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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