If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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