one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize