I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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