hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
