holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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