If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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