so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
