I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
