I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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