Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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