I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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