Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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