At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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