Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
