his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
