i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
