fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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