Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
