Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
