Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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