A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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