Your tits are I can't wait for
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
