Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
